Life is short
Let’s make something beautiful together
The Great Abider: Premium Writing Consultation Services
Weekly Quote to Get your Goat
(Analyze it and send me your thoughts and we’ll put it in a blog post after I get five responses to a quote. Bonus points to those who can name the author and or title! Winners will receive a trip to Disney Town)
“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”
“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” -Mark Twain
I get it. Words are hard. The English language is three toddlers in a trenchcoat, or ten monkeys in an operating room (and they're hardly trained with typewriters; can you imagine them trying to perform open heart surgery? It'd be bananas). Truth be told, or rather, in Whitman's way, yawped, it’s a convoluted, exhaustive mess, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to even speak the blasted thing in the first place.
It’s a miracle we don’t all communicate in grunts and blinks. Well. I suppose some of us do, and that's why I'm writing this. I take it back. Grunt away.
So, weary, wordless (possibly grunting) wanderer: worry not, for I am here. For I, like a fool, went to college for words so you didn't have to. I went to college so that you never have to write ever again. Goodness, does it really get better than this?
Words are my weapon
Let me wield them in your noble honor
I’m a certified English teacher with a lifelong love of literature, an insatiable thirst for writing excellence, and the biggest vocabulary you’ve ever seen. I can write, edit, and revise anything under the sun, from professional documents to poetry and screenplays. I can write articles. I can edit your fanfiction. I can help you work out kinks in your novel, write a letter to your estranged, frizzy-haired aunt, apply for scholarships, describe your real-estate listings, help you sell stuff on the internet, and provide you with a custom, tailor made love poem written by hand on rustic, deckle-edged paper mailed to your door and straight to your lover's heart.
The options are endless, and all we’re doing now is just wasting time. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? You already know you don’t want to write that thing anyway. That's why you're here in the first place.
So let's stop beating around this binary bush, and pull the trigger already. Let’s have fun together. Let’s write something together.